Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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