I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Randomize
