I showed him my bush... on skype.
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
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