My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
a search helicopter?!
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
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