He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
Randomize
