Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Randomize
