she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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