if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
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