Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Randomize
