i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
