If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
Randomize
