It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
Randomize
