grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Randomize