I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
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And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
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I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
All the doctor said was why
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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