Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
