I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Randomize
