my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
