Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
