The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
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