in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
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