I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
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