so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
