it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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