shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
sex in a hospital.. check
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
Randomize
