he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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