Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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