over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
