I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
Randomize