I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
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