You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Randomize
