my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
