I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
Randomize
