Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
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