Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
Send help, water and tortillas.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
Randomize
