i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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