He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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