I think scott just propositioned me for sex
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
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