he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
My bed is full of blood and feathers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
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