Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Randomize
