I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
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