The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
don't judge my taste in strippers
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Randomize
