well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
Randomize
