What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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