he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
Come see our sink grown plant.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
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