ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
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