i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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