I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
I did not marry a roomba.
Randomize
