I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
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She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
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