Already got asked if we're dating
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
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