Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
