so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
Randomize
