TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
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