i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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