i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
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