The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
So many bounce houses so little time
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
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