I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
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