Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Randomize
