Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
that's an acceptable place to lick
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
