hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
Randomize
