I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
My butt remains clenched, sir.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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