I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize
