Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize
