She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
Randomize
