why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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