I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Randomize
