U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Randomize
