all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
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