she was so not down for the gang bang
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
