Plan B is the new Plan A
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
Randomize
