no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Randomize
