We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
17 year olds will be the death of me.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
